Not a great idea
by amaya-nara
Summary: So, Amaya O.C convinces Kisame and Hidan to go Midnight Mass catholic Christmas Eve mass with her. Kisame is not very excited about going, but Hidan is interested in seeing how others worship a god, until he gets there and finds out.


**Not a great Idea..**

It was Christmas Eve, late afternoon, when Amaya had the idea to drag Hidan and Kisame, her closest friends, to Midnight Mass with her. She knew Hidan was of another religion, and Kisame was...well, he wasn't into church. But it had been a tradition in her family to go to Mass on Christmas Eve.

"Mass. At Midnight." Kisame gave her an odd look, determined to say no.

"What fucking church has mass that goddamn late?" Was Hidans reply.

She knew they would give in, they couldn't deny her what she wanted. She smiled angelically, seeing Kisames eyes soften just a little, and Hidans mouth twitch slightly.

"Pleeeeaaase? Pretty please? It's been so long, and I mean, you worship a God, right, Hidan? You know what it's like!"

Hidan sighed.

"Hell, it can't be too bad, havin' the service that late. I mean, worshipping a God in the fucking morning is stupid, anyway, right? Hell, no one's even awake! It's not even my God, but I'm sure it won't be too bad, seriously!"

Amaya bounced back on her heels, looking to Kisame as Hidan continued rambling.

"I'll go. I can't let you out with that lunatic, anyway."

Amaya squealed and then hugged both men in turn.

"I have to go get a shower, and do my hair, and my make-up, and a nice outfit, and..."

She was already on her way up the stairs to Kisame's room, since her room was yet to be finished. She crossed the room to the bunk beds she and Kisame shared. She climbed the ladder to her bed, and began rummaging through her bag of cosmetics. Then she remembered she had to get a shower and threw the bag back down, dashing into the adjoining bathroom. She closed and locked the door behind her, then walked over to the tub, turning the taps to the right temperature. She took a quick shower, cutting down on her usual forty-five minutes to twenty. She turned the water off, and stepped out onto the fluffy mat on the floor. Steam bellowed out from the tub, fogging the mirror and window.

She dried her hair, fluffing the ends a bit before tightening the towel and creeping into the room, making sure no one was inside to see her. She got dressed, and then started on her make-up. Once she was finished, she was startled to see it was time to leave already.

She gathered Kisame and Hidan, and they left the hide-out together, Kisame shuffling his feet beside her. There was a church in the next village over, a Catholic Church. She wasn't sure what she was looking forward to more, seeing Hidans reaction, or being in Church again, with normal people, worshipping a normal God.

A little while later, Amaya wasn't sure how much time had passed, they arrived at the courtyard outside the church. She glanced up at Hidan, who had a fascinated look on his face at the moment. They walked up to the church, up the cracked, gray, concrete steps, to the green doors, a stark contrast against the dull white of the church itself. Kisame opened and held the door, letting Amaya first, and then Hidan, walk in before him.

"Hurry, hurry! Get a seat!" A woman wearing a black pencil-skirt, and a smart white blouse, ushered them in, handing them all booklets. "Now!"

Hidans face took on a sort of startled look as she placed her hand on his lower back and pushed him through. "Lady, we can get a seat, we only just came through the doors."

She stared at him briefly before retreating to the back of the church again. Amaya glanced at Kisame, a smile playing at the corners of her small mouth, growing wider when she seen Kisame smiling, as well. She led them forward, to a pew close to the front. They sat down just in time for the service to start.

The woman from the back of the church was now walking to the front, up to the alter, where she stood at a podium, and leaned into a microphone, saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our annual Midnight Mass, we thank you all for coming. I ask you to join the choir in singing Hymn 43 in the C.B.O.W., Away in a Manger."

A man with a guitar came around to the front of the choir, and began playing. Then the choir started, low and softly at first. Hidan leaned down to Amaya, his lips close to her ear, as he asked, "What the _fuck_ is a C.B-whatsit?"

Amaya slapped a hand over her mouth to keep in a giggle, before turning to Hidan and hissing, "Don't swear in church! And C.B.O.W. stands for _Catholic Book Of Worship!``_

He gave her a _look_, and then turned his head towards the back, where the priest, the alter servers, the readers, and others, were now slowly making their way up the aisle. Hidan turned back around, his jaw setting in an impatient way.

After they all made way to the alter, Father O`Reilly thanked everyone for coming, again, and began preaching. A few moments later, he asked the congregation to sit down.

"On this night, our Saviours birth..."

"Our saviour? What the f-"

Amaya elbowed him hard in the ribs, his breath escaping in a _whoosh._

_ "Shhh!"_

Hidan sighed and slunk down in the pew. A woman walked up to the microphone and began the first reading. Amaya glanced at Kisame and seen that he was already asleep. She poked him in the ribs, and he jerked awake with a snort, receiving a few death glares from people sat around them. He grinned sheepishly as they turned back around. He slunk down in the pew again, and stared sleepily up at the woman reading the second reading. He yawned, then let his eyes roam around the old building.

Father O`Reilly stood then, and took the microphone, starting the third reading. He told the story of Christ's birth, a story Amaya knew off by heart now.

"What kind of idiots have their kid in a barn? That's just fucking insanitary!" Hidan was whispering, more to himself then to Amaya.

"Shhh!"

The rest of the Mass passed without much incident, until it came time to shake hands and wish each other peace. Hidan looked at Amaya with flabbergasted eyes.

"What the f-"

"Hidan!"

"Wish each other _peace?! _Like he-"

Amaya sighed, "Hidan... just do it."

"Lord Jashin will fucking behead me."

"Lord Jesus will send you to hell."

Hidan sighed, and turned to the man beside him, shaking hands. After a few minutes, Hidan turned and looked at Amaya, who smiled at his pouting face.

Then a tall man with short, gray hair made his way up to the alter, then over to the tabernacle, where he washed his hands and unlocked it, taking out the Eucharistic bread. Two more people joined him, each taking a bowl with the flat, white bread. The choir began singing _Joy to the World,_ as the congregation began, one pew at a time, to form two lines on either side of the main aisle. Hidan and Kisame seemed utterly bewildered, but stood and joined in the line none-the-less.

"When you get to the Priest, hold your hands out like mine," Amaya was saying to Kisame and Hidan, showing them her hands, with the right cupping the bottom of her left hand, "and take the bread from him. Say _Amen_, then pick the bread up, with your right hand, and place it in your mouth on your way down to the pew."

"Hn," was all Kisame said.

"What's up with you people and the right hand?"

Kisame was next in line and did as he was told. Amaya and Hidan followed suit until they sat in the pew, where Amaya noticed Kisame had a strange look on his face, his mouth and nose wrinkled.

"Kisame...?"

"Bread's stuck the roof of my freaking mouth."

"This shit tastes like fucking cardboard!" Hidan said, a little loudly, making people around him stare with wide eyes and gasp loudly.

"Hidan!!" Amaya said in a dismayed voice.

Kisame laughed as Amaya's face turned redder than usual. Her brown-green eyes flashed a darker green colour as people continued to stare.

"I'm sorry! He has a mental disorder... he can't help what he says..." she explained. Hidan stiffened beside her as Kisame's tall frame shook with laughter.

People bowed their heads and gave sympathetic looks.

"My word! That man is choking!" A big woman bellowed, and Amaya realized they were looking at Kisame, who was holding his breath and shaking with laugher. He did, to most people, probably look like he was choking.

A man ran up from behind, wrapping his arms around Kisame's torso, in an attempt to save him. Kisames eyes widened as he twisted to look at the much shorter man, who was squeezing his arms tightly around Kisame.

_This was obviously a bad idea..._ Amaya was thinking.

"He's not fucking chocking, you hicks, he's _always _blue! Does he even _look_ like he's choking, for fuck's sakes?!" Hidan said, as he looked in bewilderment at the scene in front of him.

A few people turned, alarmed, as Amaya apologized for his language.

Kisame pried the man off him, just as Father O`Reilly dismissed the mass.

"'Bout fucking time!" Amaya covered her face as she shouldered Hidan out of the pew.

On the way back to the hide out, it was relatively quiet.

"That's one messed up fucking story, seriously. A kid born in a barn. And what was with those wise men? Giving gold to a baby. Fucking hell."

Amaya sighed, and looked to Kisame.

"Don't. _Ever_. Ask. Again." He gritted out.

"And I don't have a fucking mental disorder. Do I look retarded?! No, I didn't fucking think so."

_We're all going to hell,_ was all Amaya could think.

"I'll have to do something major to fix this. Lord Jashin isn't gonna' be happy. I knew I shouldn't have gone. What a load of shit!"

"If I was choking, it was because that bread was so retardedly horrible! I couldn't get it off the roof of my mouth!"

_Definitely not a good idea,_ Amaya was thinking.

"Well. We had fun, though, right?"

Hidan and Kisame said nothing in response, but kept walking forward.

"I really fucking hate snow."

Amaya realized they were now walking through knee-deep snow. She looked up at the sky, the beautifully twinkling stars, the light snowflakes falling softly down. It was actually pretty nice. Even if Hidan and Kisame hated the Mass, she was still with her friends, on Christmas Eve.

"I do, too," Kisame grumbled.

Amaya laughed as they continued walking, the treacherous Mass incident put now forgotten.


End file.
